literature

AL14. Eng (3rd part)

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A robotic voice, the same as in my first memory, sound inside my head: "Complete database recovery". Pictures flood my mind rapidly and randomly; sounds get mixed and I have the feeling that my ears are going to explode. I fall to my knees and I take my head in my hands. It hurts, but not in a physical way.
When I wake again it's getting dark. Did I faint? No, I rebooted. It took its time, my system had to recover from all the damage received and reorganise my memories. But now I know what happened...
Yes, Elijah got better, and we lived safely in the factory for some time. Of course, I didn’t let my guard down in the beginning, but I allowed myself to enjoy my new life. I adored little Rob, who was fascinated with me. Although I couldn't tell him too much about my performance and my pieces, I preferred not to tell him about the reason of my creation, Rob seemed to enjoy time with me. He was an intelligent child, very intelligent. He would have been a great engineer if he had had the chance, I'm sure. Moreover, he was always smiling and he illuminated every corner of our new home with his laugh. Rob... my little boy... Diane seemed to be quiet, and although sometimes a trace of fear could be seen in her face, generally she was always cheerful. She often said how she had everything she needed to be happy by her side. Although I am a machine, Diane had something, something that made me share her enthusiasm with surprising ease. I could say happiness could be like breath in the atmosphere, happiness to know we were safe, we were alive.
There was only one thing that disturbed that happiness: Elijah's attitude. I don't know how the child was before becoming a fugitive, but seeing Diane's face when she spoke with him, I deducted that his nature had changed. He was an aloof person, who rejected any contact or a chat with us. Other than the moments when we healed his wounds, which Elijah tried to make as short as he could, he spent his time walking alone through the factory. We thought it could be because of the surely traumatic he’d had with the cleaners so we just gave him space, waiting for him to recover physically and mentally. Waiting for him to be himself again.
But that never happened. How could it have occurred? How didn't I realize it?
We had been in the factory for two years, more or less. Elijah had recovered from his physical wounds, but he kept cold and distant. I saw the pain in Diane's eyes but I could do nothing but give her comfort. It had been a while since Rob had last asked him to play together. On the contrary, after exploring my robotic anatomy  with all the detail and dedication a boy like him could have, he had started to build small machines with the items he found in his explorations throughout the factory. And, to be honest, I let my guard down and I just enjoyed my time with them.
It was dawn on a fresh day, it was spring. It looked like everything was going to be okay as always. After those two years, it seemed that my bosses had forgotten about their three fugitives and their treacherous robot. And it should have been like that, because, what special thing did we have?  A luchador woman, yes, but she had nothing more than her two sons, two little boys who contributed nothing to no-one (at least, for their eyes, Rob's intelligence should have been harnessed as soon as possible). And a defective unit, whose single utility was her pieces.
But it wasn't like that. And I admit that their strategy was impeccable. There weren't new cleaners, better than me. There weren't any security agents nor weapons that would attract attention. There was a boy, and it was enough.
Diane and I were sat down, she was lying against my chest and I hugged her by her shoulders, smelling her sweet hair. We were talking and smiling while, in front of us, Rob was improving Finn, a little robot he had created months before. Elijah was kneeling far away from us, more sombre than usual, and he seemed to be focused on something. Diane woke up suddenly and went closer to him. She sat down by his side and wrapped her arm around his waist. I heard her telling him something that I wasn’t able to understand.
It all was so fast. I saw Elijah make a quick movement and Diane moaned. I saw how a metallic bar crossed her body and how she collapsed to the floor. And I made a mistake. I ran to her, shouting, although I knew she had died immediately and there was nothing I could do for her. I ran over to her body and held it in my arms, calling for her desperately, with all the strength my artificial lungs, or whatever I have instead, allowed me to.
And I had left Rob at the mercy of his brother. It was only a few seconds, I hadn’t been distracted for long but when I turned to them it was already too late. The last thing I saw was Rob's face, terrified, before the shine in his eyes faded.
Elijah turned to me. His impersonal face made me doubt his humanity, and his indifference about the murder of his own family made clear something that I should have known a long time ago: Elijah was dead. He had been dead for two years. We didn't find him, not him.
In theory, cloning is forbidden on human beings. It is used on livestock and crops, of course, but not on humans. And the modification of those human clones which should not exist wasn't even legalised. But let's be honest, technological companies don't care too much about legality, and they have such advanced techniques that it's pretty obvious they never did leave those practices. Elijah's case made it clear: in the hours he had been missing from us, my bosses had time enough to clone him, profiling each detail of his entire body, modifying it to have unbecoming speed and strength for a boy and implanting many cerebral chips to control him even inside the isolated factory. They had tortured him to look like the cleaners would have thought he was dead.
With a more powerful jump than I could have anticipated, he pounced onto my back. He took my neck and started to fidget with it. He wasn't pretending to strangle me, because he knew that it would be no use. No, he was trying to deactivate me. All the cleaners had a button which immobilized us and uncovered another button, so much more important: the one which made our brain self-abort, leaving our head empty. This way, if any unit became violent towards its creators, it was enough to simply press the first bottom to render it completely useless. The second one was to take that defective brain and introduce a new one, benefiting all the materials of the robot. Enterprises don't become rich by throwing away raw material or losing time creating something new.
As I could, I got rid of "Elijah" and approached Rob, just to confirm what I already knew. Regretfully, I took one of my guns from my body and aimed it at my opponent. An image of the true Elijah came to my mind and prevented me from firing. The clone realized it and ran towards me. He struck me in the waist with the same bar that had killed Diane. It still had her blood glistening over the rusty metal.
I fell heavily to the floor, and in a desperate movement I shot at the boy. With superhuman speed, he interposed the bar between the bullet and his head. I understood my only option was to disarm him. In the quickest way I could, I got up and took a pipeline from the floor. I held my guard, waiting for him to attack me. It wasn't too long.
We engaged in a fast and complicated fight. I didn't want to hurt him, even when I knew he wasn't the true Elijah, even after I’d seen how he killed Rob and Diane. I felt like I couldn't injure him. And he didn't want to damage any part of me if he could avoid it, but his interests were different. The metals hit each other; the echo of our fight must be heard uproariously in every corner of the factory. Sunshine which entered by the windows tore rusty reflexes from our weapons.
I don't know how long we were fighting, none of us gave up, until I made another mistake. I got to snatch the bar from his hands, true, but it was a trap. In the moment I did his free hand slid to my neck again. And this time one of his fingers found the button and pressed it. I immediately felt how my entire body lost its energy and my strength left me. I fell heavily to the floor, and as much as I tried to move any part of my body, I couldn't even blink. I had never been immobilized until then and I had never seen anyone do it, and I always thought in that moment the unit also lost its sense. Then I understood that humanity’s cruelty has no limits: cleaners' acts were something as fast and painless as possible, that is to say, as the victim allowed. But the ability to thieve an A.I unit of its brain, who feels and understands in the same way as a human, means that the unit is conscious that its end has come. It's conscious it's going to die and it can do nothing to avoid it. It can just watch, not being able to move.
That was what I was undergoing. The fake Elijah crouched on top of me and took my left arm. I tried to concentrate, to make my mind order my arms and legs to move and wrestle free of him, to get up and continue fighting. But it was useless. I felt all the connections of my body closed to my mind's call. The clone rolled up my jacket's sleeve, looking for the button situated in the internal part of my elbow. He had to press it with his finger so his human fingerprint was detected by my system to work.
And when he had almost reached my articulation, he stopped. I saw how his face acquired a rictus of shock and pain, and how his body collapsed over mine. He was dead.
ATENCIÓN
Si eres hispano-parlante, aquí tienes la versión en castellano: lunnaris1995.deviantart.com/ar…

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Finally! Part three is here, it only lasts one! Comments and 
critiques are always welcome ^^ 

<- Part 2 lunnaris1995.deviantart.com/ar…

-> Part 4 (END) lunnaris1995.deviantart.com/ar…

Thanks as always to :iconaasmith1294: for your help, you're the best ^^

(This story belongs absolutely to me, and you're free to share the link of this page if you want someone more to read, but I would feel really bad if you try to copy it   :( (Sad) Share, yes, but don't steal, please! ^^).
© 2015 - 2024 Lunnaris1995
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AASMITH1294's avatar

……………………………………..

Did that really just happen? Diane, Rob and Elijah…. All of them…. I can’t believe it… Why? WHY?!? :cry: :cry: How could you do this to me and the readers!?! You made me care so much for them. Alia was happy and content at last, they all were…. And then just like that. It’s all torn away from Alia in mere moments and this story becomes something utterly heart-rending…. :cry:

 

You were absolutely merciless in this part Lunna I have to say… :cry: You perfectly interwove uplifting moments, shocking twists and a heart-breaking moment into this part and I was definitely not expecting any of it. I knew this part would be excellent but I was not expecting you to leave me both speechless and emotionally distraught by the end of it. So now Alia’s memory is back and just as I imagine it did for her, it struck the reader without mercy directly in the feels…. :cry:

 

How you emphasised how much she had grown to love them and described their tranquil life together like a family made that shocking moment so much more heart-breaking. Just when you think Alia is finally happy and has succeeded in protecting them, you tear it away and it just stabs the reader straight in the feels without mercy. Although the reader is aware of Alia’s present day situation, the way you tell her story makes you forget that and become so engrossed in the time she spent with her family. The drama and tension was beautifully built up through how you described Elijah’s unusual coldness but even then I could not have seen that shocking moment coming… I became so focused on Alia’s new life and the way you described poor Rob’s genius and the bond he formed with her that the shocking revelation just caught me off guard.

 

How you set the atmosphere was perfect. It had been two years since they settled down inside the factory together and the sunlight of the spring day just made it feel like an ordinary, peaceful day. But then it just happens so fast and unexpectedly and with how peaceful everything seemed, especially since it had been two years, it just leaves the reader wide-eyed and breathless… I swear my jaw dropped and I just stared… I really didn’t see it coming and the emotional impact sets in once you confirm it through Alia’s narration…. Diane is dead. :cry:

 

Just picturing her cradling Diane’s lifeless body and screaming her name, which you capture all the sheer emotion of, was just heart-rending and then you barely give the reader time to recover and kill of poor Rob. How could you?! :cry: Just the image of that poor boy, how he had been so enthusiastic and friendly… how he had been so cheerful and illuminating with so much promise…. Killed and so scared at the same time while Alia couldn’t save him… It’s heart breaking… I really cannot phrase it accurately. This is one of those things a writer inspires in the reader that I think words cannot explain…. An AI feeling so much pain and sorrow… it’s a bittersweet thing you capture in this story. How someone a reader would at first not see as human can suffer and feel just as much pain as one… All because of the cruelty of real humans…

 

Killing them off so swiftly really captures how it happened so fast before Alia’s eyes. You really feel as helpless as her and share her pain when she loses them. The only family she’s had… It’s terrible to accept it, especially when Alia checks Rob even though she knows he’s gone. To have her family torn away from her like that… it’s such an upsetting outcome for the story but it proves again you’re a great writer because you don’t hold back when telling a captivating story. Just like you did with ‘Fire’.

 

The twist that Elijah has in fact been dead and that all this time he was a clone is as shocking as it is heart-rending. All this time their killer was waiting and Diane’s own son was dead and she never knew. To be killed by his likeness… :cry: Alia perfectly mirrors the reader in her realisation of his true identity because it should have been clear to her as it should the reader, but you get so caught up in her happiness you fail to look closer…

 

The battle between her and Elijah was pulse-pounding and the way you have her unable to attack because to her it still is Elijah adds another emotional layer to the fight. You can feel her anguish at having to fight him and how helpless it all seems for her. The sounds of their battle ring in the reader’s ears and the image of their fight never lets the reader go. And you do this straight after you’ve put them through the emotional power of the shocking deaths of Diane and Rob… this story is relentless and never lets go of the reader as it puts them through so many different feelings! Excellent work! :D

 

Then the moment when Elijah overpowers her and immobilizes her comes. Alia’s narrative really captures the helplessness of her situation and the horror of how the AI’s are put down. How you have her say they suffer, knowing they are going to die and unable to do a thing whilst unable to move is such a sad moment and idea you create. Despite being AI, Alia has shown how they can be human and must be frightened when they are being shut down… it again shows the cruelty of humanity.

 

Having been through such misery and now lying helpless and alone at Elijah’s mercy, I felt so sorry for poor Alia. You capture how vulnerable and afraid she is, after everything she has just suffered. But then there’s that last shocking moment… Elijah dies! I didn’t see that coming either! How? Why? I suppose the final part will reveal that. But what a moment for the final cliff-hanger… What now for Alia? Why did Elijah wait two years to kill them?...

 

After all this you remind the reader who the true villain of this story has been… humanity’s selfish nature and the cruelty they enact to preserve themselves, especially the rich/elitists. You have brought this out in this story and approached it with great skill. How the rich were willing to use such a vile science as cloning and their willingness to terminate AI’s in such a cruel manner is shocking. After everything this story has depicted about humanity, you really want Alia to find and make someone pay for what’s happened but with only a single part left, you know that isn’t going to happen and it’s a melancholy feeling. She can’t change the world as she is only one of many stories in this world you’ve created. The cruelty of humans and the elitists is endless and every chapter you provide a new detail on their cruelty. Here they allowed a woman to believe her son was alive while they in fact murdered him used his body for science. All to create an effective weapon to ensure that Alia and her family were disposed of. All because they were deemed ‘imperfect’ by these selfish elitists… All Alia’s suffering and that of Diane and her poor children is because of them and this cruel world overruled by them. It’s a powerful theme you’ve addressed so well….

 

How will it end? I managed to think about that for a moment although I was caught in the emotional power of this chapter. What will happen to Alia now? She has her memories completely restored but she’s all alone now… I keep hoping she will find peace or happiness in some way but after this chapter I’m not sure that’ll happen anymore… Will she be just another victim of this cruel, selfish world? Will she find some sort of salvation? It’s tearing into me and the emotional impact it’s having on me goes to show how well written this story is. You never held back or went easy on the reader. You made them care for and love these characters so much and have delivered a story that has been nothing short of terrific. I’m certain the final chapter of this story will be excellent and I cannot wait to see how it ends or how you resolve Alia’s story.

 

An outstanding part in every way and without doubt the most heart-breaking, emotional and shocking you’ve done so far. Excellent work with this story Lunna! :D I hope your studies are going well and you’re English exams are looking good too! :D Sorry for the large comment, this chapter was just...

 

Have a lovely week and I hope to hear from you soon. All the best Lunna! :hug: :D